It Was Her New York and Alex in NYC both shared the upsetting news yesterday that the University Restaurant diner, on University and 12th Street, is closing. Today is their last day in business.
I went by for a quick cup of coffee. This is one of the last--if not the last--diners in the neighborhood. It was my go-to place in that area, and I will miss it.
The last time I went, I sat next to a crotchety, older New York couple. She was counting out her vitamins and he was helping. Sort of. I wrote down everything they said on a Milky Way advertisement in the magazine I was reading. It's the kind of scene you just don't get except in diners like this one. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
(this is not the crotchety couple)
Woman: There's something wrong with Sunny. She's eating too much cat food. She doesn't sleep with me anymore.
Man: No, she sleeps with me.
Woman: Does she? Seriously, tell me, where does she sleep? Tell me the truth so I know!
Man: Yeah, she sleeps with me. I'm cheating on you with the cat.
Woman: Oh, be quiet and help me with these vitamins.
Man: You have to take them all, because--
Woman: I told you to help me, not lecture me. Now which one's which?
Man: Don't you remember?
Woman: No, I don't remember!
Man: And they call you a genius.
Man: Okay, this one's the probiotic. This one's for your skin. This one--
Woman: I don't care what it's for! Just tell me the name!
Man: You're not nice to me. I'm going outside.
The Man leaves and then returns.
Woman: I've got two tickets for the movie tonight, with Daisy, but I don't feel up to it. Can you take them back and get my money?
Man: You should go. She's your daughter.
Woman: She's too much to deal with.
Man: I wish I could go to the movies.
Woman: So go.
Man: I can't! The house is a disaster and I got to clean everything. You go. I'll be home waiting for you with your grapefruit juice, just like you like.
Woman: Oh, be quiet.
Man: You love grapefruit juice.
Woman: I said BE QUIET!
The Woman throws her balled-up napkin at the Man. They get up to leave. The Man turns to me.
Man: [stage whispering] I have no idea why I bother to love this bitch!
More vanished diners: