Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Cells, cells, cells

As summer ends and the cooler weather is around the corner, we will gradually see our streets loosen from the strangle-hold of bad cell-phone behaviors.


from my flickr

Until then, we still have senior citizens to protect us. They have no qualms whatsoever about telling people off. Walking on 9th Ave around 14th Street, there's a typical MePa dude on his cell phone, greased hair flopping into his sunglasses (cloudy day), letting his big dog take a huge steaming dump against a planted tree.

The old lady, elegantly dressed and taking no shit, says, "Could you do that in the curb please?"

Cell-phone guy says, "Sure," and does nothing.

The lady and I exchange a mutually exasperated look. I say, "He's too busy on his cell phone."

"Oh, right," she says, "too busy trying to decide between whole milk and skim milk. We have to hear the most inane conversations! Whole milk or skim milk, I heard him say. So stupid. Once, I saw a girl on her cell phone and tears were just streaming down her face. And I thought, Oh dear, she's been dumped on a cell phone!"

The lady laughed uproariously at the thought and said, "They do everything on these phones! Hello? Your father has died. Can you imagine?"

13 comments:

EV Grieve said...

Just the other day I heard a fellow standing out front of a Fifth Street eatery tell the person on the other end of the cellphone that: a) he made $2.2 million last year; b) the caller should really consider investing in copper.

I also walked by a guy who seemed to be just listening on ths cellphone. He made eye contact with me and gave the universal "jerk off" motion with his free hand. He rolled his eyes. As if he was trying to get me to commiserate with him over a stupid call

Anonymous said...

So how else would someone be informed of their father dying? A cell phone is a phone after all, people don't send telegrams. This is a useless post there is nothing about " vanishing" NY unless you consider not understnding or appreciating the younger generation "vanishing".

Also I much prefer a dog shit in the small dirt patch next to a tree than to leave a skid mark on the sidewalk, curb or street. At least there some fertilizing qualities o the
remnants left behind.

Anonymous said...

It's all the people who used to spend hours on the phone at home, replicating their behavior in public. Lucky us.

Christopher said...

Where else they going to do it, lady? People don't have landlines.

That's neither here nor there (I actually think New Yorkers have some of the best cell phone manners in the whole country. People actually leave restaurants for cellphone calls -- they don't do that in other cellphone obsessed cities like DC, LA, SF or even Chicago.)

BUT BUT BUT

I just learned the meaning of curb your dog! I just thought it meant pick up after it. Not that the dog is supposed to go in the curb!

Now it all makes sense. I couldn't figure out why Curb Your Wheels and Curb Your Dog where such similar phrases.

Color me stupid for not making that connection.

Oy.

BaHa said...

I agree in principle, of course, but how should one be notified of one's father's death? By mail? I think my mother would be pissed off that I didn't find out in time for the funeral.

Goggla said...

8am: Where you at? I'm on the train! Where you at? I'm walking...where YOU at? Omigod!! I know! Where you at now? I'm outside that place...with that thing, y'know? Yeah. I am SO hung over! Where you at??

Anonymous said...

If East Village Bingo (2009 edition) were a real game, crying girl on a cellphone would definitely be one of the squares.

Anonymous said...

Once, cigarette smoking was safe. Old ads proclaimed "9 out of 10 doctors prefer Brand X". Periodically, word drifts across the Atlantic about the dangers of cell phone usage; such news is quickly buried. Yunnies would find this of no interest. Perhaps their brains have been microwaved.

Anonymous said...

viThe future of human interaction will be entirely virtual. Disease will break out, then people will be in pods and communicating via computer pods. Everything will be virtual including sex. Babies will be created under government control, and without selection or choice.

Sorry people, the future is looking pretty bleak. Enjoy the last days of human interaction.

The cloning of world commerce, businesses, and the cloning of people soon.

Ed said...

Just returned from another city that is about a fourth the size of New York, and over the course of the weekend I counted six people walking with cell phones. Two were at a mall and two were obviously tourists in the hotel district.

There were also fewer SUVs, people walked fast, people moved to the center of the subway car when they boarded, and cars slowed down when they turned the corner. So I know it can be done. I'm also still resolved to move out of here as soon as I get the chance.

The cell phone stuff is probably the worst thing about the "new" New York. I can stand everything else, but at least let me walk down the block at a normal pace. I can pretty much avoid the yunnie bars, shops, and restaurants but its impossible to avoid the cellphone people. I'm starting to look forward to the cooler weather too, when there will be fewer people outside.

Melanie said...

I am pretty good at ignoring these people--but the young women crying on their cell phones grab my eye. Also I seem to speak very loudly on my cell--usually when I am out and receive a call--the whole place can hear me--is it me or my phone???

Bob said...

I was thinking to myself that the most practical application cell phones have are as invaluable tools in the drug trade. As a Gen-Yer I have no idea how you old timers got your fixes back in the day. My pops would tell me the stories about ten guys standing around a pay phone, which must have been a dead giveaway to the police. Nowadays the dealer and customer can keep in touch anywhere they like on the fly without anything seeming amiss to the authorities. Everybody talks about "the drug days" of the 70s and 80s but quite frankly I think drug use is just as if not more prevalent in today's city, it's simply better concealed thanks to the wonders of technology. As someone who works as a bouncer and has to deal with tanked-up trustafarians on a daily basis I can assure you that coke for one is bigger than ever.

sk said...

I think New Yorkers are too polite about those rude loud cellphone-addicted people you see everywhere these days.
I went for a haircut recently and there was a loud woman screaming about some party into her cellphone, sitting right next to me.
I complained in vain to the salon owner, and he said, "It's a customer, I can't say anything". How about me-as a customer I would like to be able to get a haircut in some peace and quiet.