Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Note from the Backside #2

Welcome to the second installment of Notes from the Backside, where neighbors of the Cooper Square Hotel tell their tales of what life is like in the Coop's posterior--and how they're coping. (I may have to expand the definition, as emails are also coming in from the derriere of Thompson LES.)

June 2 is the official meeting to discuss the problem and we hear the hotel owners will be there, too. Until that grudge match, enjoy the following Note from the Backside...



"We had a delicious victory yesterday. We saw that the hotel’s co-owner was sitting on the patio a few feet from our window. We put our speakers at the window.

But what to play?

The un-coolest thing we could come up with was Roger Miller and Conway Twitty’s greatest hits. Then we put on this vile, 7-minute comedy routine about a prostitute and a banana. And set it to repeat."

16 comments:

EV Grieve said...

In my last apartment building, a neighbor eventually wore down a July 4 outdoor gathering by repeats of the Star Spangled Banner by Jimi Hendrix.

Bowery Boogie said...

I would have blasted some Swedish death metal. That would scare away the owners and socialite clientele before the end of the first measure.

Mad Texter said...

I love it! Only in NY kids, only in NY!

Anonymous said...

Really? You realize you sound really petty there right? One party- on a day that is a national holiday put aside so people can have parties celebrating our country- and you shut it down by being super annoying? For your sake I hope it was 2AM or something otherwise you sound like a real Scrooge.

Ken Mac said...

Heck, Roger Miller is hip in my book. Unhip and annoying? How bout an endless loop of extreme death metal or house music. But then, the turds who frequent these places might enjoy that.

Anonymous said...

Metal Machine Music. Get it. Play it.

Anonymous said...

No, no... POLKA. Definitely Polka. Accordions always drive people away.

ShatteredMonocle said...

How about the bagpipe player from the Union Square station.

Anonymous said...

Tools...I agree, I also really hope for your sake it was 2am otherwise you truly suck...A national holiday to celebrate the men and women who fight for what? You guessed it...FREEDOM...the thing that makes this great country so great and, yes, you have the freedom to be a turd and blast music out the window but you live in a city. Move into the woods and then you can blast the music to the squirrels and trees who also don't give a sh!t about you. Pathetic.

Jeremiah Moss said...

this didn't happen on memorial day, but days before

hntrnyc said...

Funniest thing I've read in a while. Btw, why is it that the harshest critics are all named "anonymous"?

absurdman said...

It's bad enough we've endured 2 and a half years of construction hell to keep our home... but now we have an outdoor bar to contend with. We were promised by Greg Peck and Matt Moss at a local meeting over a year ago that the
2nd floor bar would be interior only. So we stuck it out. Try having a shovel waved at your head with a construction idiot yelling "I'll kill ya!" while Matt Moss, the "owner" stands by shaking his head. Try drills and jackhammers in your living room wall at 6:30 in the morning (7am is legal but who am I to complain?) Try feeling like a chimneysweep because their nouveau riche fireplace belches out toxic smoke that goes right in our windows. Try being laughed at by herds of morons up scaffolds when you ask when their evening shift of drilling will end. Try having your pets die because of the vibrations in the wall. Try having no light for nearly two years because of scaffolds literally connected to your front and back windows. Then try listening to packs of indifferent New Jersey types as they guffaw about their latest testament to prefab over-consumption... The East Village may be far from its bohemian heyday, but it has a character defined by those who chose to live here. Not to mention the three brownstones demolished to erect this flacid penis extension. This hotel, like the other two Midtown beacons of glass, is an embarrassment with an infectious idiocy. By the way, it has two other names locally: the Dildo Hotel and the Giant Vibrator.

Willow said...

Yeah, and to these anonymous critics, I would say:

People in their homes should not be subjected to loud partying regardless of date or time.

Not everyone deals with a holiday by drinking to excess, blaring music and acting like a loud-mouthed idiot. Some people actually cherish peace and quiet and should be able to enjoy it in their homes.

Dumb assbags.

clr said...

Not everybody gets a holiday on a holiday. This is something I continually have to remind the entitled trustafarians of Williamsburg. Some people still have to work; some people are ill; some people are elderly; sometimes families with small children still live in the cities.

bk said...

music suggestions: Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music, Pat Metheny's No Tolerance For Silence (an honest to God guitar noise album), The Velvet Underground's Sister Ray or maybe just take a page from how variety stores cleared away their loitering teen problem in suburbia: Mantovani or Percy Faith.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the super is on the side of the Hotel?