On Friday, the Lower East Side Slacktivists lived up to their moniker with an irreverently slackadaisical demonstration that began in front of embattled 47 East 3rd St. and ended up scattered to the winds across the summer night, still hungry for pizza.
Unlike the last demonstration, this time the police were prepared. They were on the scene before anything got started, complete with a paddy wagon, plenty of backup, and a narrow pen into which they herded the protesters--cupcakes, donuts, guillotine, and all. John Penley handed out snacks and sodas. People munched on pastries, muffling their cries of "Die Yuppie Scum."
let 'em eat cake!
"Who's in charge here?" called out one protester. "Nobody! We're anarchists," came the response. When it was time to march down Bowery, the head cop shouted into his bullhorn, "Time to get marching folks," and led the people along the sidewalk, accompanied by a moped motorcade, and more cops bringing up the rear.
The marchers stopped in front of the NYU dorm at 2nd and Bowery, chanted "N-Y-Fuck-U!" for a few minutes, then shouted at the Varvatos store, before ending up in another narrow police pen at the Bowery Wine Company.
The wine bar's owner, Chris Sileo, came out to greet the protesters as they jokingly chanted, "We want our pizza! Where's our pizza!"
chris promises pizzas to john
As he promised in the Observer, Chris told John that five pizza pies would soon appear. The crowd cheered. Satisfied, John headed down to Mars Bar for a beer. Other members of the mob stood around grumbling, "I don't want no stinkin' pizza," and "Don't eat it--who knows what they'll do to it." Someone else muttered, "At least in the old days we threw beer bottles."
not bruce willis
It must have been all the carbohydrates consumed, because this demonstration sugar-crashed fast. While more stops were planned, the crowd dispersed here. Some people went to Mars Bar. Some went on to shout at the Christadora. Some stayed at the wine bar to wait for their pizza and chat with Chris. Others, like myself, went home to watch TV.
The pizza never did arrive. According to NMNL's report, the police suggested that it not be ordered, because some protesters would likely just throw it at the Avalon, the wine bar, and its customers.