Note from the Backside #3:
"You know how annoying it is to sit at a restaurant at a table near people who talk too loud and/or like to conduct their business in front of an audience? Well, my whole apartment is now sitting at that lousy table. I had to close the windows, turn on the fan, and still I could hear the inanities.
I tried a new tactic. There’s a CD of sounds to annoy your neighbor. I treated them to 'Orgasm' and 'Drill.' At first one of the women said in a knowing way, 'oh, ok-ay then,' upon hearing the orgasm. But then they just went back to chatting endlessly about their jobs and hiring temps, etc."
urine filled baloons
ReplyDeletePerhaps the Cooper trooper works in the porn biz and is used to hearing the sound of fake orgasms all day....
ReplyDeleteThree words: Andrew Dice Clay.
ReplyDeleteIt worked on the moron kumbaya chanters loitering outside my dorm window at Brown, it will work on these fools, too.
i'm with ken.
ReplyDeleteA cd like "orgasm" is just going to make them feel like they are having another "edgy" experience. I'd suggest "Dead Yuppies" by Agnostic Front, anything by Crass, and maybe inviting Leftover Crack to come by for a rehearsal session.
ReplyDeleteUsed cat litter and a fan...guaranteed to clear a square mile.
ReplyDeleteMy apartment is in the next-door building as well and I have to concur with the Backside reporter here. It's exactly like my whole life is overhearing too-loud fools. I haven't tried any of these tactics, I wish the hotel would take measures to preserve some quality of life. They are illegally using their "emergency egress" door next door to 207 East 5th for trash disposal 12am-2am every night and the clanging of bottles wakes up constantly. That's a violation of their agreement not to use that door for anything but emergency exit. I hope it comes up at tonight's meeting. The Cooper Square Hotel is such a terrible neighbor. I don't know who would want to pay top price for cocktails to sit in a tenement air shaft.
ReplyDeleteDrop one or two snakes on them.
ReplyDeleteThat poor resident should get themselves a copy of PLAGUE MASS by Diamanda Galas. Without question, it is the most harrowing music I've ever heard.
ReplyDeleteToss some Cradle of Filth or Hatebreed into the mix for good measure. I'm sure the trendsters will have trouble bearing it. Although I too defer to Ken Mac's idea as the best.
ReplyDeleteFour Words.
ReplyDeleteSteely Dan. Deacon Blues.
Period.
Throw a shoe-box full of cockroaches or mice out there while it's crowded.
ReplyDeleteI used to use a Gregorian chant cd to clear the bar I worked at. Worked like a charm every time.
ReplyDelete