Monday, September 28, 2009

B&H Pizza Bagel

This frontline report comes in from Andy Reynolds, who comments here from time to time as Penetration, Inc.



Just at B&H Dairy on 2nd Ave. In comes a couple. Both radiating full on entitled valley/burb-girl vibe. "We just moved here."

Checking the menu, she pouts. He mirrors her Oh-My-Gawd/pouting stance regarding the menu. "No meat. No muenster. What's a blintz?" etc.

She addresses Mike, the Egyptian chef, with a variety of requests, starting each one with "Kin you make meee..."

The first is "...a pizza bagel? OMG, you don't know what a pizza bagel is? I'm gonna teach you something new!"

Amazingly, Mike concedes. Leo, the Latino chef, would have told her and her douchebag friend to take a hike.

I seriously wanted to punch them both.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow...I don't think I've had or seen anyone have a pizza bagel since they served them in my school cafeteria.

Should have told them to go up to Ess-A-Bagel and ask for one, they would have been lynched.

EV Grieve said...

So now you hate pızza bagels too?

Heh.

I am actually surprised the couple walked in at all...

the jodi said...

I live in fear (well, not actually fear, but a general state of discomfort) of the day I read from either you or EV Grieve that B&H has bitten the dust along with the rest of the landmarks of the East Village.

ShatteredMonocle said...

They should've gone to Holland Bar. Their Pizza Bagels are excellent...the best!

Jeremiah Moss said...

please tell me you're joking about the holland bar.

Melanie said...

Is a pizza bagel--a toasted bagel with tomato sauce and cheese??? What is a pizza bagel???

Anonymous said...

Bravo Jeremiah! I am seriously impressed with this entry. I really get pissed off with these "Valley Girls" and "Valley Guys". They are spoiled brats from the suburbs that are stuck up pretentious jack asses.

They hate anything mom & pop and the wouldn't eat anywhere else except Whole Foods or some overpriced piece of crap restaurant in the East Village with floor to ceiling glass windows and rude waiters.

Unfortunately, the city is overloaded with these types now.

This is what I really hate-SANDALS.
WHY DO THEY WEAR FREAKIN SANDALS ALL THE TIME? WEAR SOME DAMN SHOES!

I always see these jerks EVEN IN THE WINTER with sandals. Are we at the beach people? I thought we live in New York not the Bahamas.

~evilsugar25 said...

PLUS, if you reallyreally need a freakin pizza bagel you can get one at the pizza shop on the corner of st marks and 3rd, one block away from b&h. but yeah, why did they even go in at all??

ezra closer said...

We have people like this in Oregon. We call them Olive Gardeners. I like D-bags also!

AndyPenetrationInc said...

To The Jodi, I've asked the new-ish owner (Fazi?) of B&H (very cool, P.S.) who married (Ola) the blond (Ukrainian?) woman who is sometimes behind the counter if they are going anywhere. He said they're not leaving anytime soon. There was a scare a few years ago, when the place closed suddenly, unexplainably, and thankfully, temporarily. Something to do with rent or new ownership. Whatever, I remember talking to people outside the gate door, wondering what was going on. For now, patronize the hell out of the place!

Anonymous said...

Pizza Bagels aren't on the menu at B&H right? Wouldn't it have been much simpler to just say we don't have pizza bagels? I don't hate or like them, but since when do places start taking off-menu requests? It's a mistake, and now the valley couple transplants will tell their friends they can get them at B&H. It's all so sad.

cmdrtebok said...

Whats the problem? make the poor saps a pizza bagel. I'm personally pretty tired of bagel store snobbery. Like when they try to give you an old cold bagel then get all snappy when you ask them if they have a toaster. (I'm looking at you MURRY) I've lived in this city my whole life; I'm not some mid westerner or whatever, I see nothing wrong with making bagels the way people want them. Thats what makes them delicious.

Anonymous said...

To cmdrtebok said...

I think your missing the point just a bit. Would you walk into an Italian restaurant and order a blintz? B&H is eastern european. Order off the menu, ask what things are, try them, and if you don't like the food then leave. It's that simple. It's simple, really.....It's not about the bagel, it's about the attitude. These people come here and try to conform NYC to their own expectations; it doesn't and shouldn't work that way.

Anonymous said...

To cmdrtebok said...

I think your missing the point just a bit. Would you walk into an Italian restaurant and order a blintz? B&H is eastern european. Order off the menu, ask what things are, try them, and if you don't like the food then leave. It's that simple. It's simple, really.....It's not about the bagel, it's about the attitude. These people come here and try to conform NYC to their own expectations; it doesn't and shouldn't work that way.

Anonymous said...

"I'm personally pretty tired of bagel store snobbery"

In case you haven't noticed, B&H is not a bagel store.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said:

"It's that simple. It's simple, really.....It's not about the bagel, it's about the attitude. These people come here and try to conform NYC to their own expectations"

You probably don't own a business here. If some sucker comes into my store and asks me to get him something with minimal effort then over charge them for it; absolutely it works that way. I want the money in that guys pocket, its simple really. You guys all seem to romanticize the past and forgot about the hustle.

Thats the New York I grew up in.