More evidence that the Lower East Side has gone the way of cheesy Suburbanism -- it is now the site of "New York's #1 Bachelorette Party Destination." No, I don't mean Lucky Cheng's (that's #2). I'm talking about Hunk-O-Mania at Club Element (formerly The Bank, formerly Jasper Johns' studio, formerly a bank).
I walked by the other night and was stopped in my tracks by the Fabio-licious signs out front. It was so unbelievable, I thought it was ironic, like some postmodern punk band was playing inside, calling itself Hunk-O-Mania for laughs. No sir. I asked the bouncer and he said it was the real deal, "Just like Chippendale's."
"Is it for gay men," I asked, figuring it had to at least be a queer venue. The bouncer looked at me like I'd asked if the dancers came from Mars.
"It's all ladies in there," he scowled.
You know what that means. Bachelorettes, it's time to knock back a few apple martinis, put on your tiara and bedazzled Bridezilla baby T, climb into your white Hummer limo, stand up through the sun roof, and get ready for some faux-hetero beefcake, 'cause the skies over the Lower East Side are raining men!