It's that time of year again. Gothamist and the New York Sun report on the return of NYU's freshmen to the streets of New York. I must echo the following sentiment of one Greenwich Village resident quoted in the Sun: "My first thought this morning was oh my god, they're back...they don't know how to walk, they take up five abreast on the sidewalk, it's nerve-racking. They should have a class on how to live in the city."
Walking home tonight, though I dodged and weaved like a pro, I was unable to avoid crashing into about a dozen of these oblivious kiddies. Shopping at the corner bodega, I placed my basket beside me on the floor (while using a reacher to grab for high-shelved TP) and two NYU kids helped themselves to my produce selections. I told them to please not steal from my basket and they ran away giggling.
Dear NYU, if you're going to crowd our neighborhoods with more and more freshman dorms, please, for the love of God, educate your incoming first-years on city etiquette. At the very least, provide them with the following orientation:
1. On the sidewalk, stay to the right and pass on the left. It's just like driving a car (in the U.S.).
2. Do not walk more than two abreast. When you do walk two abreast, compress to single file to make room for passing traffic.
3. Do not stop short.
4. Do not stop in the middle of the sidewalk to make phone calls or chat with friends. Move to the side to socialize. Again, it's like driving on the highway--if you must stop, move into the breakdown lane.
5. It's useless to ask that you not walk and talk on the phone, because you're going to do it anyway, but please keep your voice down, especially when walking close to other people. If you must text on the sidewalk, just move aside.
6. Upon reaching the top or bottom of escalators or subway stairs, do not stop, keep moving.
7. When you exit a building, slow down and yield to the flow of traffic. Moving pedestrians have the right of way.
Bad urban etiquette is not just an NYU problem. Many New Yorkers could use a primer, a topic the Times tackled a few years ago. If any readers would like to add to this list of guidelines, please leave a comment to help keep our sidewalks sane.
Monday, August 27, 2007
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6 comments:
Too funny. And, alas, too true.
Édouard
To #1: same goes for subway stairs!! if i had a dime for every time i missed a train because someone was blocking the way on the stairs. mostly i miss the downtown r train at union square... hmmm. think i see a connection! ;)
If you don't know what you want at a store register or you don't have your Metrocard out when you get to the turnstiles, step to the side until you're ready. Get outta my way!
Put your oversized umbrellas away on skinny-ass sidewalks, you selfish fucking cocksuckers.
If you need to pass someone on the sidewalk and it's very, very crowded, say "excuse me!" Even if you're running.
Stop acting like children on the subway. You're not in your living room, we're not your parents and we don't have to like you. What we want is a quiet ride. Stop singing out loud to the crap that's on your iPod. Don't sit on the subway with your knees spread like you're drunk at a frat party. And pull your pants up.
invest in a goddamn rainjacket.
if you're 5'4 and have a 5 person umbrella chances are you will probably come close to stabbing me in the eye.
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